I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
