What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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