Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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