Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
