Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He shit in the fireplace
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
