Kiss
Puke
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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