wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
