Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
