Tell her she can't have a vagina
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
