All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
