Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
