It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
