And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
