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barbara walters just said penis...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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