youre lurking in front of me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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