thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
