Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
