I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
