CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
