he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
