His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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