Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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