even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and she was petting her beer can
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
