It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I smell like Dick and happiness
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
