Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize