Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
