3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
