she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
