I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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