I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
