i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
