like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
