i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
