Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize