So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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