I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
