How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
