Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
