hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
