I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
