called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I need to sanitize my soul.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
