I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize