Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
