I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You don't make any sense
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