I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
