Sponge bath it is.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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