did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
