It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
