please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
