Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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