I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
People in love make me want to vomit
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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