im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
