I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize