Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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