clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You should frame my arrest warrant.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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