i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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