my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize