I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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