she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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