by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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