Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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