I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
