your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
