Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
