it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I intend to get homeless drunk
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
