if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Girls should come with a carfax report
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
