I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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