i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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